(With Rabbi Shruti Salzhauer)

Eyfo haambatya!

April approaches but do not be fooled, my brethren.  Though Tiphereth would dearly like to catch us all out with a bucket of Yesh balanced precariously over our doorways, we must be mindful of our steps yet always peer upwards, like the flamingo when he negotiates a particularly unstable sandbank.  This month, your lucky dessert is Munch Bunch ‘Andy Apricot’, and your favoured stance is the contrapposto.

aaKhaar kaaKh!

(With Rabbi Shruti Salzhauer)

Shalom oh fragrant ones,

With the gentile’s high holiday approaching, a cloud of disapproval has settled over Keter that threatens to rain stale D’mooth upon us all.  Never one to miss an opportunity, Yesod’s withered hand offers us umbrellas of Tsurah at a fair price, but Netzach warns that the handles feature a cheaply rubberised grip which can result in chafing.

Your lucky woodwind is the oboe, and haircut is the side-parting.

Yasher koach!

(With Rabbi Shruti Salzhauer)

Shalom, my children.

This month will be difficult for all now that Yesod is encroaching on Chochmah’s astral bedsit. This has left little room for Binah, now sulky and out of sorts as it tries to weave a new cardigan out of our collective Nefesh in preparation for the coming winter.  Favoured colours are puce and Citadel Miniature’s ‘Goblin Green’, and your lucky constant is Planck’s.

L’Chayim!