Election Night Suicide Live Blog
Join us as the results come in, for absolute razor’s edge coverage of the end of Noel’s short, sexy life. 20.06 Got the razor blades, the chloroform, the plastic bag and the ligature. I’m all set. 20.23 Going to go to the pub for a last drink. Spot of Dutch courage, too, if I’m honest. [...]
Noel’s Election Twenty-Ten Drillbit Part Three
With only hours to go before polls open, CMF endorses its pick for the 2010 election. It seemed so sweet, didn’t it? The possibility of a profound change lay thick on the air like sweet arson smoke as, for the first time in a generation, the Lib Dems became Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition. Nick Clegg [...]
Why I’m Going Around Boring Everyone Frozen About David Cameron
Sock, Rock, Bock-bock director OUBLIETTE CHADMERS today explains why the Tories have got the touch, and also the power. He is married to someone far, far richer and more beautiful than you will ever land, you horrifying sack of offal. Here, Oubliette, 39, explains nothing at all, and spends a long, long time doing it. [...]
Noel’s Election Twenty-Ten Drillbit Part Two
Goebbels Brown hits the road in desperate credibility gambit. It was the political clash that defined a British epoch. In the red corner, belligerent and incoherent, stood Rochdale gran Gillian Duffy, swaddled in a Primark anorak. In the other red corner, punctilious and puffing, with a face like a collapsing tower block, prowled Gordon Brown, [...]
Noel’s Election Twenty-Ten Drillbit Part One
Poll of David Cameron Reveals Confusion Among Conservative Leaders